Monday, January 08, 2007

Queen Latifah vs Marsha Warfield

Ahoy you lot.

Lemme get right to the point. I've been sick...Norwalk, Novo Virus whatever it was, it was bad. It's funny though, everytime someone asks me about it, the first question is always "Did you get your flu shot?"

I have two retorts to this, depending on the inquistor.

1. Well duh...If i DID get a flu shot, would I be sick? (This is predicated on the assumption that this person believes wholeheartedly in the "flu Shot" and it's wonder-drug reputation)

2. I don't believe that the flu shot is a wonder-drug therefore I never do get injected. Personally I think it's all just sugar water blended with microscopic government Nanite Robots used for manipulating or buying habits...internally...

Anyway, while I was sick I got to watch a lot of TV/Movies etc and happened to catch a bit of Caddyshack II starring the wonderfully talented Marsha Warfield and the not-so-talented Jackie Mason. Well, the plot is bad and the acting along with it, the story doesn't matter but what does is that something hit me while watching Marsha...

She always plays a strong character, forceful and witty with a fair amount of chutzpah. Am I wrong?

It dawned on me that Queen Latifah has stolen all the roles that would normally be reserved for a woman of Marsha's prowess.

So I have a new theory. Queen Latifah is the new Marsha Warfield and if they ever get around to making that long anticiapted "Night Court" movie, the Queen will play Roz (with Vin Diesel as Bull Shannon, of course)

These are the things that occupy my thoughts on Jan 8th

Tuesday, January 02, 2007

New Year? Happy?

The New year rang in on sunday night and somehow my head came between the mallet and the bell.

It all started out peacfully enough, getting together with friends for sushi, lobster and many drinks.

Somewhere along the way we emptied more that a few bottles of red wine, some white wine, beers, rum and of course Goldslager at midnight.

I don't remember much after 1 o'clock, I might have gotten naked with the ladies or I may not have. I verdict is still out. I do know I sent out more than one garbled email to friends telling them how drunk I was...

So, this leads into an absolutley excellent Monday holiday, one in which i didn't leave the house and didn't leave my PJ's. So great to have one of those days every so often. I even got caught up watching Hogan Knows Best. They had a marathon on tv. Pamer's Wife hates what, I was in the bedroom cuddled up with the dogs, who needs her?

Actually at the end of the night I told her "Thank you for letting me be a slob today".

On to resolutions...

MJ the ever-loving Infomaniac said it best the other day, it was something to the effect of "screw resolutions, Embrace your Vices". I really love that mantra and I think i'll do just that this year.

Everyone seems to try to make a resolution and how many actually succeed in keeping them? I'm going to go out on a limb and say the failure rate is 92%. I like 92.

So... instead of failure, we should all just plan to succeed by maybe drinking more (think of the poor wine makers who need your $12.65) or gamble more (in Canada, gambling proceeds got to charities and better infrastructure...LOL). It's win/win all around people.

Wouldn't it be nicer in December 2007 to say you set a goal in January and met it?

Now, I don't mean go out and bet the family farm on 21 black at the roulette table. Just maybe buy and extra raffle ticket from the church down the street or enter that Cancer Society sweepstakes. It's all for a good cause right?

And Drinking? Don't start bringing your pillow to the gutter everynight, have an extra beer with your old granddad or Aunt Bethany. They'll surely appreciate the time you spent with them.

See how nice things could be.

Hookers, drugs and porn....well....those are up to you to try and justify. I'm not EVEN going to touch them.

The Morales to this story:
-watch Hogan Knows Best (there are morales in the show)
-drink more to save the world
-gambling is ok